Category Archives: Dear Deidre

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Simon gets laid off as debts are piling up and Marie can’t tell him — Deidre’s photo casebook

Category : Dear Deidre

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

My friend told me she's pregnant by the boyfriend I've been secretly bedding

DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK

Jenna finds out her pal Jo is dating her ex and not telling her

SEX IS HISTORY

My husband and I have forgotten how to be lovers – now all he wants is porn

WEDDING STRESS

My dad and father-in-law ruined my wedding after having a huge bust-up

NO JOY IN BED

Fiancee is a sexy beautiful woman – but I can't get erection in bed with her

BABY LETTER SHOCK

I've received a message saying I'm a dad – my partner is distraught

MY TODDLER TANTRUMS

My stressful life is making me lose my temper with my little girl

RISKY ROMPS

I am cheating on my boyfriend with a guy twice my age

AUTISM OFFENCE

My sister-in-law never comes round after calling my autistic son an a***hole

DEAR DEIDRE

I cheated on my wife for threesome with pal and now I'm falling in love

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE I had great sex with girl, 15, but pals say she’s jailbait and I’m a paedophile
READ LAST WEEK’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Bryan decides to raise baby by Liz’s lover but fears he’ll resent the child

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficialFacebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidreor write to Deidre Sanders, The Sun, London SE1 9GF (please enclose SAE).


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My husband is threatening to tell the whole world I cheated on him and I don’t know what to do

Category : Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD an exciting, sexy affair but it triggered a string of events that blew my life apart.
I’m 34 and my husband is 39. We have two young sons and for years we were fine. Then my husband lost his position as a marketing executive. He kept on applying for jobs and kept getting turned down.
The only contact I have with my husband now is through our lawyersAlamy
In the end he gave up on that field and started driving a cab instead. He hated the driving, the traffic and the hours. I could see he was getting depressed but when I said anything he got angry and told me to leave him alone.
He rarely spoke and the house was a miserable place. One night I was out in the pub with a mate when a friend of hers came on to me. He’s 33 and has been good friends with my mate since school but when she went to the bar he was out-and-out flirting with me.
The next day my friend got in touch and said he had asked for my number. I told her to give it to him. I knew it was wrong but a part of me thought “Well, why the hell not?” I felt alone in my marriage and desperate to feel a man’s interest again.
We started a full-blown affair but I knew in my heart that he wasn’t a patch on my husband who used to be handsome and loving and witty before he got ill.
Then my husband found out I’d had an affair and threatened to tell the whole world.
I only cheated on my husband because he was being so miserable all the timeAlamy
I panicked and made terrible accusations that he was abusive to me. I was lying but now feel trapped by those lies. He left our home and moved in with his mum. We don’t talk at all, except through our lawyers.
I still love my husband. It’s all gone so wrong but I feel like he drove me to it.

topic4today

SO many men wish their penis was bigger but a very large one can cause relationship problems that can be tricky to resolve.
My e-leaflet Manhood Too Large explains self-help tactics.
Email me at [email protected] or private message me on my Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: I don’t condone your affair but I understand how frustrating and isolating it can be to live with a partner’s depression.
Withdraw any untrue allegations you made against him – explain it was said in panic. Can you talk to his mum? Does she know he’s suffering from depression?
I doubt she wants to see her son living apart from his children if there’s a chance this rift can be healed. I doubt, too, that he will feel any happier in the long term if your marriage should end in divorce.
At this point it could help him much more to see his GP than his solicitor.

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm risking family for sex with girl half my age but I want to hang onto both

DEAR DEIDRE

I am having sex with my son-in-law and do things with him I've never dreamed of

DEAR DEIDRE

I agreed to watch girlfriend having threesome with two men — it was unbearable

TOT TERMINATION ANGER

I'm full of resentment after my wife went through with an abortion

STRAYING SIS

Sister is cheating on lesbian partner who is like family — should I tell her?

MONEY RIFT

My brother has shut me out of my inheritance after our mother died

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP

My parents' loud sex makes me uncomfortable and it's affecting my sleep

NO MORE NOOKIE

Fella doesn’t want sex with me because he 'doesn’t need to impress me'

DEAR DEIDRE

Wife had long, noisy sex session with my mate while his missus and I listened

DEAR DEIDRE

My husband only gets an erection when we're having sex with other people

Maybe his mum can convince him of this, especially if she understands how much you still love him and you regret what you said.
A few sessions with a Relate counsellor could cost less and bring much better returns than divorce.
See relate.org.uk.

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE Our son has had enough of his dad’s drinking problem and says he won’t show up to his funeral if he dies
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Pete’s booted out of bed for his snoring and fears romance is dead

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.


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Our son has had enough of his dad’s drinking problem and says he won’t show up to his funeral if he dies

Category : Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is 68 and he’s always been a heavy drinker. I’ve got used to it over the years.
He’ll say hurtful things while drunk but it’s just the drink talking, not really him.
My husband’s drinking problem has gotten out of controlAlamy
Last week he and I had a week in Spain with our 41- year-old son and daughter-in-law.
My husband hit the bottle as always and was rude to our daughter-in-law when she suggested he’d had enough.
My son now says that if anything should happen to his dad, I shouldn’t expect him to be at the funeral. I was shocked.
DEIDRE SAYS: You have made excuses for your husband for years but your son probably feels it’s been a painful issue all his life and has had enough.

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm risking family for sex with girl half my age but I want to hang onto both

DEAR DEIDRE

I am having sex with my son-in-law and do things with him I've never dreamed of

DEAR DEIDRE

I agreed to watch girlfriend having threesome with two men — it was unbearable

TOT TERMINATION ANGER

I'm full of resentment after my wife went through with an abortion

STRAYING SIS

Sister is cheating on lesbian partner who is like family — should I tell her?

MONEY RIFT

My brother has shut me out of my inheritance after our mother died

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP

My parents' loud sex makes me uncomfortable and it's affecting my sleep

NO MORE NOOKIE

Fella doesn’t want sex with me because he 'doesn’t need to impress me'

DEAR DEIDRE

Wife had long, noisy sex session with my mate while his missus and I listened

DEAR DEIDRE

My husband only gets an erection when we're having sex with other people

Tell your husband he must cut down.
My e-leaflet Dealing With A Problem Drinker can help.
Your son can find support via the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (nacoa.org.uk, 0800 358 3456).

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE My marriage has become so stale and I’m really considering divorcing my wife
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Bryan and Liz can’t have kids because he has fertility issues

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.


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My marriage has become so stale and I’m really considering divorcing my wife of 25 years

Category : Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE: MY marriage is dead on its feet. Our two kids are married with lives of their own, now I feel it’s time I had a life too.
I’m struggling to keep my marriage going. I’ve changed so much in these 25 years and my wife has as well.
Our relationship has hit rock bottom after 25 yearsAlamy
Our sex life is dire, we’ve got no social life as a couple and nothing to say to each other when it’s only us.
The feelings we had for each other have totally died. All I can think about now is that I want to get free and maybe strike lucky with somebody else. I’m 48 and she’s 49.
Is it the right thing to do?
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind.

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm risking family for sex with girl half my age but I want to hang onto both

DEAR DEIDRE

I am having sex with my son-in-law and do things with him I've never dreamed of

DEAR DEIDRE

I agreed to watch girlfriend having threesome with two men — it was unbearable

TOT TERMINATION ANGER

I'm full of resentment after my wife went through with an abortion

STRAYING SIS

Sister is cheating on lesbian partner who is like family — should I tell her?

MONEY RIFT

My brother has shut me out of my inheritance after our mother died

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP

My parents' loud sex makes me uncomfortable and it's affecting my sleep

NO MORE NOOKIE

Fella doesn’t want sex with me because he 'doesn’t need to impress me'

DEAR DEIDRE

Wife had long, noisy sex session with my mate while his missus and I listened

DEAR DEIDRE

My husband only gets an erection when we're having sex with other people

But first it’s worth asking yourself what has stopped you having a life up to now?
Are you depressed or unwell? Have you been waiting for your wife to make your life happy instead of taking on that job yourself?
My e-leaflet Relationship MOT can help too.

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE I’m out of a job and I’ve got no qualifications – is my life doomed?
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Bryan and Liz can’t have kids because he has fertility issues

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.


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I’m out of a job and I’ve got no qualifications – is my life doomed?

Category : Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE I lost my job I feel like I’ve wasted my life. I wish I could fall fast asleep and never wake up.
I had a bar job in a high-end hotel for six years but got sacked for helping myself to a few glasses of cola. I thought it wouldn’t matter.
I feel really depressed and I don’t know what to do with myselfAlamy
I’m a man of 32 with no qualifications. I got bullied at school and didn’t even get my English and maths GCSEs.
I always wanted a job that involved seeing the world but I think I’ve missed out on that dream.
I hated bar work but now I won’t even get a reference for those years of my life. I wish I could start my life over again.
DEIDRE SAYS: There’s no need. Many people have looked back and realised being sacked from a job they hated was the best thing to happen to them.

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm risking family for sex with girl half my age but I want to hang onto both

DEAR DEIDRE

I am having sex with my son-in-law and do things with him I've never dreamed of

DEAR DEIDRE

I agreed to watch girlfriend having threesome with two men — it was unbearable

TOT TERMINATION ANGER

I'm full of resentment after my wife went through with an abortion

STRAYING SIS

Sister is cheating on lesbian partner who is like family — should I tell her?

MONEY RIFT

My brother has shut me out of my inheritance after our mother died

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP

My parents' loud sex makes me uncomfortable and it's affecting my sleep

NO MORE NOOKIE

Fella doesn’t want sex with me because he 'doesn’t need to impress me'

DEAR DEIDRE

Wife had long, noisy sex session with my mate while his missus and I listened

DEAR DEIDRE

My husband only gets an erection when we're having sex with other people

You need to get busy. Think about signing on to a job agency and check out job search websites online.
Longer-term, to reach for your dream, get advice at nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk.
But first contact the Campaign Against Living Miserably (thecalmzone.net – 0800 58 58 58). This can be the day you made your luck change.

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE I feel drained looking after our son and my husband’s two daughters all by myself
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Bryan and Liz can’t have kids because he has fertility issues

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.


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I feel drained looking after our son and my husband’s two daughters all by myself

Category : Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE: ALL housework and childcare is left to me as my husband works nights. I feel like a single parent – and now he wants me to take care of his two daughters as well as our son who is three.
Looking after the kids all on my own is just getting too much nowAlamy
We’ve been married for four years but we feel more like flatmates who meet now and then to have sex. He’s 35 and I’m 31. I work part-time, on top of the childcare.
When my husband’s not working, he mainly just sleeps – unless he’s off “doing a favour” for one of his mates.
He has two daughters, aged seven and nine. Their mother recently said she’s done her bit and the girls need to be with their dad.
I don’t want to turn my back on those girls but I feel like I’ll be a single mum of three.

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm risking family for sex with girl half my age but I want to hang onto both

DEAR DEIDRE

I am having sex with my son-in-law and do things with him I've never dreamed of

DEAR DEIDRE

I agreed to watch girlfriend having threesome with two men — it was unbearable

TOT TERMINATION ANGER

I'm full of resentment after my wife went through with an abortion

STRAYING SIS

Sister is cheating on lesbian partner who is like family — should I tell her?

MONEY RIFT

My brother has shut me out of my inheritance after our mother died

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP

My parents' loud sex makes me uncomfortable and it's affecting my sleep

NO MORE NOOKIE

Fella doesn’t want sex with me because he 'doesn’t need to impress me'

DEAR DEIDRE

Wife had long, noisy sex session with my mate while his missus and I listened

DEAR DEIDRE

My husband only gets an erection when we're having sex with other people

DEIDRE SAYS: Tell your husband that you don’t want to see his daughters suffer but he has to step up to the parenthood duties – with his son as well as his two daughters.
Maybe his own dad wasn’t hands-on but his children need his involvement and it can be sorted around his work schedule.
His children come before his mates.
You can both get advice through familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222.

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE I’m risking my family life and wedding for sex with girl half my age but I want to hang onto both
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Bryan and Liz can’t have kids because he has fertility issues

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.


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Husband makes sure he gets what he wants sexually but won’t reciprocate

Category : Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN it comes to his needs in bed, my husband makes sure I know what he wants.
He says: “Do it this way, do that and wear this or wear that.” It’s like he’s ordering a takeaway. Yet he gets bored when I say what I need.
Getty – Contributor My husband makes sure to get what he wants in bed – I don’t[/caption]
We’ve been married for 35 years and I do love him, but not sexually.
He’s the only sexual partner I’ve had. He’s got a high sex drive, so we have sex three times a week. If I’m ever ill he swears at me until I make it up to him. I’d be glad not to have sex again but then I’d never get any closeness from him.
The older I’m getting the harder it is to have sex.

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I had an abortion after my fling with a man but I’m married to a woman

DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK

Rosie knows John is going to his mistress and begs him not to

FAMILY TIES

I'm having amazing sex with my younger second cousin but I'm worried it's wrong

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm pregnant after having sex with four men at a wild party — but I'm only 17

BABY BLAME

My friend-with-benefits accuses me of pressurising him now I'm pregnant

WRONG SISTER

I’ve been in love with my fiancee’s sister ever since I met her

DEAR DEIDRE

My boyfriend's non-stop online flirting made me cheat on him with five men

BLUE PILL BLUES

I am fit and only 39 — is Viagra the answer to my erection problems?

DEAR DEIDRE

Pub girl has turned nasty after I got her pregnant behind my wife's back

DRIVING ME CRAZY

I had to FaceTime my wife while I was driving to prove I wasn’t cheating

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s time you put yourself first. Don’t accept swearing or sex without love any more.
He won’t like the change but you do need to show him that you deserve better.
Read Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood. It’s long overdue but it isn’t too late.

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE Long-distance girlfriend threatens to end it if I don’t marry her
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Rosie confronts her dad after he comes home from his mistress

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.


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My long-distance girlfriend threatens to end it if I don’t move to her town and marry her

Category : Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE: FOR the past year, I have been having a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend – but now she says she will end it if I don’t agree to move in with her and get married.
We live in different towns more than four hours apart but we manage to spend most weekends together.
Getty – Contributor My long-distance girlfriend threatens to end it if I don’t marry her[/caption]
She’s 38 and has been married before. I’m 39 and I’ve always been single.
She’s asked me to give up my house and to move in with her. She wants to get married next spring.
If I don’t agree, she says she will end it with me.
She’s a beautiful girl and I love her a lot but I really don’t know what to do.

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I had an abortion after my fling with a man but I’m married to a woman

DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK

Rosie knows John is going to his mistress and begs him not to

FAMILY TIES

I'm having amazing sex with my younger second cousin but I'm worried it's wrong

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm pregnant after having sex with four men at a wild party — but I'm only 17

BABY BLAME

My friend-with-benefits accuses me of pressurising him now I'm pregnant

WRONG SISTER

I’ve been in love with my fiancee’s sister ever since I met her

DEAR DEIDRE

My boyfriend's non-stop online flirting made me cheat on him with five men

BLUE PILL BLUES

I am fit and only 39 — is Viagra the answer to my erection problems?

DEAR DEIDRE

Pub girl has turned nasty after I got her pregnant behind my wife's back

DRIVING ME CRAZY

I had to FaceTime my wife while I was driving to prove I wasn’t cheating

DEIDRE SAYS: If you don’t know by now that you want to be with her full time then, I suspect, that she’s not who you want to be with.
Long-distance love seems to suit you but not her.
But whatever you decide, just don’t waste any more of her time.

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE Husband’s mother has just left and the house stinks of booze from her breath
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Rosie confronts her dad after he comes home from his mistress

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.


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I want to tackle mum-in-law’s drinking as I’m scared of leaving kids with her and I think she drink drives

Category : Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband’s mother has just left and the house stinks of booze from her breath.
We have two little girls. Thank goodness that one was at nursery and the other one sleeping upstairs when she called. I hate them to see her like that when she’s slurring her words.
Corbis – Getty My mother-in-law has left and now the house smells of booze from her breath[/caption]
The frightening thing is she drove to our house then back home and I’m sure she’s over the limit.
She’s 66 and a widow. I’m 34 and my husband is 36. He has promised he’ll tackle her about her drinking soon.
I know that’s not easy to do but she’s surely a danger to others as well as herself. I daren’t leave her alone with my kids for even a minute.
If my husband won’t take on the job then I’ll do it myself but it won’t go down well.

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I had an abortion after my fling with a man but I’m married to a woman

DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK

Rosie knows John is going to his mistress and begs him not to

FAMILY TIES

I'm having amazing sex with my younger second cousin but I'm worried it's wrong

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm pregnant after having sex with four men at a wild party — but I'm only 17

BABY BLAME

My friend-with-benefits accuses me of pressurising him now I'm pregnant

WRONG SISTER

I’ve been in love with my fiancee’s sister ever since I met her

DEAR DEIDRE

My boyfriend's non-stop online flirting made me cheat on him with five men

BLUE PILL BLUES

I am fit and only 39 — is Viagra the answer to my erection problems?

DEAR DEIDRE

Pub girl has turned nasty after I got her pregnant behind my wife's back

DRIVING ME CRAZY

I had to FaceTime my wife while I was driving to prove I wasn’t cheating

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m on your side. Your mother-in-law needs help. What if she hurts, even kills, another road user? You would never forgive yourself for just standing by.
Tell your husband it’s time that he spoke to his mum and that, unless he is sure that she won’t drink and drive, he should take care of the keys to her car.
She can find help through Drinkline (0300 123 1110).

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE Girlfriend so moody after I confessed to cheating while she was pregnant
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Rosie confronts her dad after he comes home from his mistress

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.


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My girlfriend blows hot and cold after I confessed to cheating while she was pregnant

Category : Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE: I CONFESSED to my girlfriend I’d cheated on her when she was expecting our son. Now she blows hot and cold. One day she says she loves me, the next day she says that we’re finished.
I’m 21 and it was all down to the fact that she’d had loads more sexual experience than me when we got together. She’s 23 and fit.
Getty – Contributor I confessed to my girlfriend I’d cheated on her and now she’s blowing hot and cold[/caption]
Six months after the birth I came clean. She cried like crazy and told me to leave.
Since then I’ve been begging to come back. We’ve met up six times and had sex but I know she has also seen somebody else for a night.
She said she was sorry and wanted me back – but now she has gone distant and moody on me, yet again. She says she needs space.

Most Read in Dear Deidre

DEAR DEIDRE

I had an abortion after my fling with a man but I’m married to a woman

DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK

Rosie knows John is going to his mistress and begs him not to

FAMILY TIES

I'm having amazing sex with my younger second cousin but I'm worried it's wrong

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm pregnant after having sex with four men at a wild party — but I'm only 17

BABY BLAME

My friend-with-benefits accuses me of pressurising him now I'm pregnant

WRONG SISTER

I’ve been in love with my fiancee’s sister ever since I met her

DEAR DEIDRE

My boyfriend's non-stop online flirting made me cheat on him with five men

BLUE PILL BLUES

I am fit and only 39 — is Viagra the answer to my erection problems?

DEAR DEIDRE

Pub girl has turned nasty after I got her pregnant behind my wife's back

DRIVING ME CRAZY

I had to FaceTime my wife while I was driving to prove I wasn’t cheating

DEIDRE SAYS: Are you surprised that she’s desperately hurt? You cheated on her when she was expecting your child.
Her past is part of what made her the woman you love. Don’t go blaming your cheating on her.
Tell her you’re sorry and that you understand why she’s moody. It’s your job now to win back her trust. That could take time but ask her to try again for your little boy’s sake.

READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE I had an abortion after my fling with a man but I’m married to a woman
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Rosie confronts her dad after he comes home from his mistress

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.


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